I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
