I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
