i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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