I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
