i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
