I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I smell stomach acid.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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