butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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