I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
