I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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