He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
