Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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