i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize