This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
