just come out here and I will go home with you...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize