New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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