Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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