I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
