so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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