i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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