I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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