Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just fell off a train. Bad.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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