I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
