Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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