Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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