I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
