Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
