Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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