I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
