Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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