yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize