What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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