omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
