Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
