i don't like sucking hair
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
