how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize