During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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