Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Watching her eat just hurts me
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
