i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize