Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
