No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
