I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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