I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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