Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
