I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
