i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the day after is always just damage control
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
