My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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