You're so nebulous sometimes
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
