Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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