you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
