Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you had me at cake vodka
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
