So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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