that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
