i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
