Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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