I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize