We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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