i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well you can't waste a boner
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
