Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Randomize
