I just threw up on my dentist
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
