I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
