you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize