We're facebook friends in real life
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
