the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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