Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
