Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
