The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
