I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
God, I missed his penis.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
