You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
